Navigating Sales Losses: Lessons Learned from Failure

Hello, welcome back to the podcast and great to have you with me for another week.

So this week, what am I going to talk about?

I'm going to talk about something that's really, really key when people ask me about sales and how to be successful at sales.

And that's what I've learned from losing sales deals.

Now I want to start this by saying I'm pretty good at selling.

I've worked with a number of organizations.

I'm good at understanding people and what it takes to sell and to get business done.

I've sold my own companies and generated millions of pounds of revenue.

But this is not a self congratulation session.

There are deals that I have lost, there are business opportunities that I have lost.

There are deals that I should have won and didn't win.

And so what I want to talk through today are what I've learned from losing those deals.

And I think there's a few things that I've learned that just have always stuck with me that are the key to the, to the process, what we do.

And in, even in some cases when I've worked, I've worked as a, as a bit of a fractional C, a sales and marketing director in certain organizations and I've looked at deals that I've lost in, in some recent cases actually where I thought what happened there?

And there are some common themes that come through around deals and where you lose them that I think you have to solve and pick up on.

So what I'm going to talk through today is what I've learned and this is my experience, but I think they're going to be messages and concepts that you're going to find valuable as well.

They're going to be things that I'm pretty sure you might be going, okay, well, okay, if James has gone through that and I do sell every day still, so I still see these, then hopefully they're going to be helpful for you.

Okay, so the first thing I'm going to say that I've learned from and I'll try and give some different stories as part of this, but I also don't want to make the podcast too long, but I'll try and give some examples of where things have gone as part of this.

The first example I give of this is listen to your intuition in your gut.

Now you might say a lot of salespeople, business people will say things, they want things done on a factual basis, but I'm a big believer.

And if you've listened to any of my podcasts, there's A podcast we'll share with Felicity J, who does a lot of work on the gut I'm a massive believer in.

Your gut is a critical part of everything that we do in our.

So many things in our, in our lives and our work.

So many diseases start from the gut.

The gut is the.

Is the place where so many different challenges exist.

And if you keep your gut healthy in a good place, then you're going to.

You're going to do really well.

So.

So there's that old saying of gut feel.

And it's really important, actually, that there are some elements where when I've lost deals, my gut feel on that deal was it wasn't quite right, but I've not listened to that gut feel.

And so the first thing I'm going to say to you is, first thing I need to think, look back is when my gut feel doesn't feel quite right, then you've got to take that on board.

And I'll give an example of that quite recently.

So a couple of weeks ago I was given a opportunity to quote for a quite a large project, actually.

And the, the project was due to be rolled out in, in one month, in one month's time.

And it, the project opportunity came to me two weeks before they were going to start this project and I looked at some of the numbers and looked at some of the detail of what they wanted and it was a pretty big project.

And whilst I provided a bit of an outline and some details, had a conversation with the person that was looking to do that, there was part of my gut feel that was like something quite right here.

This feels like it's not going to happen straight away.

Something made me feel like they were rushing to get something done.

And sometimes it does happen that people rush because they've got to use budgets up.

But there were more things that made me thought, nah, this doesn't sound quite right, then it's going to go ahead.

And lo and behold, probably a week after we'd shared some information, they came back and said, actually, we're not going to go ahead with this project at the moment, we're going to go ahead of it later on the year because there's too many other things going on and we're sort of rushing into things.

So I guess my first point is listen to your intuition.

My gut feel on that deal told me, and I haven't lost that deal.

But obviously at the moment it's not, you know, it's not, it's not there to go forward and something just didn't feel quite right.

So I guess I'd ask yourself the question when you, when you see an opportunity and we all get, you know, caught up into the emotion of seeing a potential figure or value and go, wow, this sounds great and amazing, but there's a whole saying, you know, whatever feels too, you know, sometimes things that are too good just are too good, you know, and just take that gut feel, just be able to be aware of that gut feel and that intuition of what it is.

Because whilst you all want it to be perfect, and I'm not being a pessimist and I'm optimist by nature, sometimes your gut is just, you know, the starting point of those things.

So that's point number one.

So listen to your intuition.

Point number two is quite simply the most important thing I've learned in sales deals that I've lost would be to ask more questions.

Questions, as I've said, if you've listened to the podcast for a while, you'll notice I talk about questions being the sole key to the safe of sales.

It's the number one thing, the right question asked in the right way at the right time, open up everything.

And quite simply, when I've lost deals, what I should have done is asked a better question or in a better way or at a better time.

And I can think of an opportunity that I always use an example of an insurance company that I lost a deal to provide a large training sales academy infrastructure for them.

And when I think about that deal that we lost and it still frustrates me to this moment, this day, when I think about that deal, I look back and think, why did it not go ahead?

And the reality was the, the CEO wasn't convinced about a few things.

I could tell that she was quite reserved lady, didn't give a lot away.

And she was, yeah, she was basically not sure about a few things.

I don't think she truly believed it was going to happen or going to give the return that she wanted it to.

And so I guess the reality is for me, the lesson I learned is I should have delved into that much more.

I should have asked better questions.

I should have, you know, asked her in the right way.

What's giving you cause concern here?

What's making you feel uncomfortable about this?

What's, where do you feel this can provide a return?

Where can't it provide a return for you?

I should ask those sort of questions.

And when I, I, I, I'm going to encourage you to do this one thing, which is when you look at deals that you've lost in the last month or last couple of weeks, just go back and ask yourself the question.

If let's say you lost it because a competitor was a lower price.

So invariably that's not because of the fault of the customer, that's because you could have asked a better question around who else are you talking to?

And just out of interest, what's going to be the reason why you might choose them and what might be the reason you might choose us?

Or what is it about their solution that you really like so much?

And listen and watch for the reaction.

And so asking questions and listening and watching the reactions is critical.

And so most sales deals are lost because you didn't ask the right question, enough questions or ask them in the right way at the right time.

And so please, please, please, I know for a fact, as I said to you, when I look back and thought, oh, we lost that deal, I lost it because I didn't ask enough questions at the time to fix that.

And leading onto that.

So point number three leading onto that is when you get responses that are not quite right, then you have to follow up rather than just have happy ears.

So I talk a lot about Chris Voss in his book Never Split the Difference, which is a brilliant sales reader, really encourage people to read it always talks around the three responses or the three yeses he calls them.

But I talk about it as being three responses, which is the counterfeit, the confirmation and the commitment.

And he was doing this from the FBI's perspective to listen out to the tonality and the way in which people gave information off to then reply back.

And I think when you get certain type of responses, again, very good salespeople and those that are the best at winning deals and learning from the mistakes of losing deals, really listen out to really how a word is a phrase is being said.

So someone might say to you.

And if I think about the example of the lady that I lost to deal with recently, last year when I asked her about the, the essence of the, the academy and building it and I asked her, you know, how does she feel about investing?

And then we were talking about quite a significant, you know, sort of large five figure to six figure investment, there are a couple of times where I sense she was a bit sort of, yeah, I'm not sure, you know, we'll have to think about that and what she was sort of meaning and we'll have to think about that was there was something going on in her brain that was making her feel this isn't convincing.

Me, it was probably a 50, 50 scenario where she was going, is this going to.

If we invest this, will we get this in return?

And so really follow up when you get responses that you feel, your gut, feel things aren't quite right.

And there's a great technique to be able to do that.

And the way I always do it is to blame myself.

So I will always say to someone, look, you know, when they've told me something and I sense there's a response there, that means that they're not happy or they're potentially not sure, even in some cases they're lying to you because they don't want confrontation.

I will always go, look, it's probably me.

I've probably got this wrong.

But I'm just sensing that you're not sure about something.

I'm just sensing that something's not quite right.

Be honest with me.

What are you thinking?

And invariably, when you give people the permission to do that, they then can say, well, actually, yeah, I wasn't particularly comfortable with the price, or I wasn't particularly comfortable with the way that you guys can offer this service or whatever.

So follow up and take that onus on yourself.

So again, let's repeat that.

So take just to say, look, it could be me, but I just sensed something wasn't quite right, or I just sensed you weren't quite sure with that response you gave.

Be honest with me.

Or you can be open and honest, tell me what you're really thinking.

I'd rather know now than waste your time or my time in the future.

And it gives the other person the permission to then say something which can be very powerful in helping you then go, okay.

And they might then say, we don't think you've got the capabilities, or we don't think you're the.

It's too expensive.

Or it may well be that they say, not quite sure of those elements.

In which case you can then say to them, okay, no worries, it's unpack that there and then.

And you're better to understand the reasons for losing a deal than for not losing it at all, for not knowing at all.

And so when you get those responses, just, just find that out.

So I've done another podcast on how to read and how to listen to people and the signals around people.

But they're really, really critical things.

And some things you just need.

Need to do.

But point number four, which is, you know, what I've learned from losing deals is find out where money is.

And deals generally go wrong because money isn't there for them, or the certainty of money isn't there for them, or the person that's got the purse strings for that money isn't convinced that that's the right thing to do, or they feel they've got other priorities.

But the reality is this, where budgets are what they are, who own them and what's the definable factor in getting them committed to is critical when it comes to, to losing, losing deals.

And those that don't understand that get lost along the way.

And I've certainly in lots of cases had to.

I always tell a story of a deal that I, I did actually do some work with them after a while.

But about five years ago, I started working with an IT provider.

I was talking to their CEO.

I felt he was the right contact.

He was the person I'd met at an event, everything was fine, everything was great.

We were talking about the project, what we were going to put in place and blah, blah, blah.

And literally, you know, within a week I'd messaged him and he had kind of got back to me.

Hadn't got back to me, hadn't got back to me.

Lo and behold, I'd lost, lost the deal.

Not the deal, didn't get ahead at that time because there was a shareholder, the major shareholder who was involved in that business and the CEO is just a mouthpiece for it.

And so they had to get approval from the shareholder to basically spend the money.

And some businesses operate like that.

Some businesses just, you know, some companies will, will, will basically carry on and do what they do, but others will, will, will operate in that way.

So just, just be aware of that and hunt down the budgets and where they are and always be.

There's a great quote from Andy Grove actually, who is the ex CEO of Intel.

And I talk about this quote a lot when I'm engaging with people that he has, which is success breeds complacency, complacency breeds failure.

Only the paranoid survive.

And I think it's a really good thing in terms of being desperate, the way you engage with prospects.

But it's a really good thing to be paranoid about budgets and project budgets within the customers and the people you work with.

It's a really good thing to do, especially in difficult economic times when, you know, you can see within days companies will pull budgets and projects will be mothballed or put into the long grass for a little while because something's happened elsewhere.

So be paranoid about budgets, money, pos follow pain, projects follow pain.

Invariably when there's pain, things get done but even then, you have to be able to just get really clear about who owns the budget for this.

And that's again, down to asking the questions, where does the budget for this project sit?

Who typically owns that?

What could potentially be, you know, where in the past has potentially budgets being removed from projects even though they were previously agreed?

Or what potentially could cause your CFO to change their mind on something here or what?

So again, those questions that you ask and hunting down where money exists and how certain are you of this budget being allocated and being committed to for this period of time?

And what could get in the way of this budget?

What could stop this budget from being moved forward or being put in place?

So we've really just got to be paranoid around where budgets are and to find out what the situation is and use people in the customers that you talk to and the prospects you talk to to get you closer to those areas.

But also just don't listen, don't always take people's, you know, sometimes people take people's word for it that are in, you know, in a company, they listen to influencers who are really important in the process, but aren't those that make decisions and they say, oh, it's fine, the budget's been agreed, but those people aren't then sometimes involved in some of the conversations that go on at board level or, you know, shareholder level, which might mean that different decisions are then made afterwards.

So, and budgets are removed rather than being capped in place.

So just really be clear about hunting down budgets and the certainty of these.

You won't go wrong by being paranoid in this space because that's the one thing that is going to, is going to kibosh your deal or help you, is going to stop you from winning a deal or losing a deal, as we know.

So just be, just be clear of that and what that looks like.

A couple other things that I've learned from losing deals that are, I think, are really, really critical.

The part for me around losing deals was emotion.

And getting too emotionally involved in a deal is difficult because in most cases, if you go back to the disc quadrant and the four styles of people.

So with dominant influence, steady and conscientious, most.

A lot of salespeople tend to be in the influence style because they build relationships and they do that.

But the problem around those people in the yellow style or the infant style is that they tend to get quite emotional.

And I know because I'm a classic yellow and I can wear my heart myself, I'm very emotional.

I get not Emotional, but I get committed, I'm energetic, I'm enthused by things.

And when you get too emotional, it's, it's, it's a, it's a change, it's a challenge because you get too involved in the process.

And what that sometimes means, you know, sometimes means is that you can't have the ability to step back and to look and go, actually what's going on here?

And let's not listen with happy ears and get emotional around that person or what they said or how they said it.

Let's look at the facts or the evidence or the other background details that might support whether this can or can't go ahead.

And I wish I had sometimes more of that ability to stand back and look and make a conscious decision rather than just going straight into what I sort of, you know, going into things and then sometimes thinking, well, actually I've gone in with an emotional head rather than a factual, logical head.

So just be aware about being too emotional in the deals you've got.

When I've again chased.

I remember there was a large opportunity a number of years ago when I was working in my software business where I got so engaged with the people doing the deal.

It was a deal where we were going to sell lots of licenses of the software to, in a partnership with someone.

And I got so involved in the numbers and the volume of the numbers and everything, I got really emotional and started thinking in dollars in pound signs rather than the practicalities of what was going on and what were the gaps in this in, in the sales process that weren't quite there, what, what hadn't been done.

And basically it came to cost me, it came to cost me significantly and I want you to avoid that.

And that actually links me on to my next point, which is don't try and shortcut the process.

So what in the deal I've just mentioned, I was trying to go from being asked to be involved in a tender opportunity to within quite quickly, then being asked to provide the details of commercials and everything else.

Before we'd actually gone through the process of seeing if our product was the right fit for them, the software product we had, and doing a demonstration and outline of what they were looking for and clarifying what the customer base was actually trying to achieve and seeing if we were a good fit.

Was it an apple for a pear or, you know, an apple and an apple together.

And most of the time, most people want to shortcut the process, but the process exists for a reason.

And I always think about the process from a bias perspective is to sort of, you know, there's that typical.

There's a model called ADA which some people use, which I think is a really, you know, simple way to think, which is attention, interest, desire and action.

And the whole idea of going through the process is, you know, people, you want to capture attention initially, then you've got to pique their interest, then you've got to create some sort of desire then to want to move things forward and then you've got to help them take action.

And the sales process is generally driven on the basis of people getting to know you a bit more about you and who you are, then finding out a bit more, build a bit more confidence and knowledge and then finally thinking, yeah, actually this can work for me, and then looking at commercials and numbers and stacking things up and feeling confident that you can deliver on what's required.

So accept that there is that process to go through.

And if people are going through things with, outside of that and aren't doing that, then you gotta ask yourself the question, is there a potential gap here?

Are we missing something?

Is something not quite right?

There are people that can sometimes, you know, go in and want to buy straight away, but invariably when, you know, when I, when I, in fact, if I've had people come in and say to me, I want to buy this thing straight away, if I was in your shoes and you get that message, I would actually be a bit more wary of those sorts of deals than not.

And again, obviously if you sell some low value items, then that's probably going to be fine because people don't make those sort of longer decisions on smaller items that they buy.

But if they're buying like a large, you know, a large purchase, or if it's a large purchase for a company, a piece of software system, they're going to take, they're going to ask a number of questions, they're going to look through a journey, they're going to want to test and check everything out because they don't want to make a mistake.

So accept that the process is what it is.

And by the way, if you're not sure what your sales process is, then reach out to me.

James White Sales Ask me a question.

We should know what that sales process looks like.

It doesn't mean, so you have to stay religiously to it, but it should mean that you understand from the buyer's journey what's going to happen.

So in my case, for example, I understand when I work with someone that there is some content that they might find about me.

Then they'll engage with me through a lead magnet or connection or to capture some information and then they're going to have a call with me and then they're going to potentially another call with me and then a workshop and then, and then to work with me.

So that's the process.

I accept that that's sort of what happens.

So make sure you're in the same position where you understand the process and then you can then start to work out how many people you can move through that journey and that stage.

And when I've lost deals, it's because I've tried to shortcut it.

A couple of final things that I would say about losing that I've learned from losing deals, I could probably combine these together in two.

Losing doesn't define you.

There was a great quote, I mean I love my cricket and there was a great example apparently when, when Joffre Archer was bowling the last over in the in England vs New Zealand world cup final a couple of years ago and he had to bowl this super over.

The captain at the time, Owen Morgan, came over to him and a few people came over to him.

But one person said to him, this isn't going to define you.

And what it meant was basically, even if you win or lose, it's not going to define you.

And I think that's a really good thing to think about in the sense of sometimes we all get so emotionally involved and preoccupied and committed to deals and everything that we are and we think that, you know, we're failures.

If we then lose deals and everything, we feel disastrous and blah blah, blah, we feel down about things but actually it doesn't define us.

It doesn't define.

And the deals that I've lost haven't defined me.

My dad always used to say to me, life's not full of mistakes but learning experiences.

So if you don't learn from what you've done, when you've lost a deal, if you don't learn from the things that we've talked about today, then it can define you and who you are.

But invariably it's not about indicating you're a failure and it's about being able to look back with open mind and a mindset that's about wanting to improve and develop and being self aware that, okay, this didn't happen the way I wanted it to.

What, what did I do wrong?

And when I do lose deals, I encourage people to do a little bit of self reflection and a little bit of doesn't have to be a Documented process, but a little bit of work where you can literally go in and go, okay, what happened there?

Was it that I didn't listen to really the signs?

Was it that I didn't qualify properly?

Was it because I didn't talk through the budget issue enough?

What.

What happened to make that.

That deal, not go ahead?

And invariably there are some things in there that if you look back, like what I've said in the course of the podcast, that you'll go, yeah, actually, I could have probably asked a better question there, or that there was a bit of uncertainty around the money there, or there was a competitor that they were really keen on as well.

There was a deal that I've lost.

I work with an IT company at the moment, and there was a deal that we lost.

I was a bit surprised to lose the deal.

And then when I thought about it afterwards and I was on the call and the conversation, they expressed there was a recruitment company based in London who was going to work with the provider that I, the customer I work with.

But they talked a little bit about this, this American option that they had, this American business that they were part of or part.

Were linked to, and they wanted some supports.

We linked to them.

And when I think about it afterwards, when I think about actually the conversation, the nature of that conversation, could I have dug a bit more into, or could we have dug a bit more into what was happening with that IT operation in America?

How important was that and how critical was that to the process?

I probably could have done, and basically I didn't.

And we didn't.

And therefore, you know, it's something that we didn't necessarily include or we didn't, you know, if we'd have asked in these initial conversations and how critical was that and they said, oh, it is really important for us, then you might have then said, right, okay, well, I'm not sure we're going to be the right fit for this because we can't do what you're looking to do.

So I think being able to just, you know, don't let things define you.

But listening to what is being said and what's happening is a critical thing.

And like I say, don't feel yourself as a failure when you lose deals.

We've all lost deals.

It happens.

It happens sometimes.

Three times I said, if your conversion rate is higher than three times out of five, you're too cheap.

So it's going to happen.

But the question always needs to be, what could you have done to make that decision happen quicker?

So there's a great thing in sales.

If you're going to lose, lose fast so that you don't be in a position where you put time and energy and effort and commitment and all your emotion into something and then find that it goes away at the end.

So if you're going to lose, lose quickly.

And we do that by asking a better questions, understanding the process, listening to our gut feel, making sure we understand where the budgets are, understanding where we are with authority.

Because again, the one thing I haven't talked about, but I always talk about is we said before is where is the money and where is.

And who is making the decision or who are making the decision, which people are making the decision?

Those are the critical things that are always part of a sales deal to win deals.

And if something's not happening, it's because one of those areas is the case.

And I guess the final thing I'll say about what I've learned from losing deals is like I say, look in the mirror and say to yourself, what impact could you have made?

What better impact could you have made if you haven't won the deal?

Is it because you just didn't make the impact that you wanted or they wanted?

And invariably the cases that we didn't make the impact, we didn't give them enough assurance, we didn't give them enough confidence, we didn't make them trust us enough.

Simply as put, they didn't make them trust us enough a lot of the time.

Again, we have to look ourselves in the mirror rather than blame elsewhere other people for that.

So look, these are things I've learned from losing deals.

And you know, I don't like losing, I hate losing.

Anyone will tell you my primary school teacher, Mr. Jones, used to say to my mum when I was six, this boy loves you, cries when he loses at football.

You need to stop.

And I can't help it.

I used to cry when I lost.

I still cry when I think about losing now because I hate it.

I'm competitive.

But I've also learned to deal with it and to accept it and to understand that.

And again, you know, there's a great quote from Michelangelo who painted the Sistine Chapel.

And I've talked about this before, you know, age 87, I'm still learning.

I don't think that will ever change.

I'll always be learning.

I think we're all learning as people.

We try and learn as to what we can do differently and better.

And there are times if you make the same mistake consistently, then there's an issue and we don't mean to do that, but sometimes it's.

Maybe we've just not listened to something or like I say, our emotions got in the way of things or we've not listened to our gut feel.

Just listening to those elements, it can help you to stop losing deals or as I said, if you're going to lose, lose quickly so you don't put time and effort and energy into them.

So that's this podcast this week.

Hope it's been helpful.

If you have, please let me know.

I'd love to read every communication and message about the podcast.

It's really important to me to, to, to listen out to what people think to it.

We're getting, you know, the numbers are growing, which is fantastic to see, but I really want to hear your stories, how it's helping you achieve things and do things.

So reach out to me on LinkedIn.

If we're not connected on LinkedIn, feel free to connect with me there or to drop me, drop me a note through on, on email.

Hello ameswhite business.

Or drop me a communication on any social media channel.

I'd love to have a chat to you and find out where, where you're at with things.

But yeah, look, tell me how this has helped you.

I'd love to know your thoughts and what it does to help you achieve what you need to.

So, as I always do, I finish the podcast on an inspirational story and I want to do a story around a guy, a young man called Boyan Slat.

And Boyan Slat has created a.

Is a Dutch guy and in 18, he was aged 18 and he basically has created something called the Ocean Cleanup.

And I don't know if you've ever seen.

I'll put a link to the, to the website for it.

But basically this is a guy who decided that the, basically the oceans have got too much plastic in them.

And he looked for a story about how he could basically clean up the oceans with these boats that collect plastic and collect waste and collect rubbish.

And I, the reason I've included him in my story this week is because he's 18 years old when he started.

And I think, wow, yeah, that's the sort of story that we all love to see because people have got incredible, you know, people think, oh, they can't achieve things.

And this was a man, a young man who felt actually that pollution was needed to change.

And you know, people always think sometimes, oh, I'm too small to make a difference.

And there's a great quote I always say to people, which The Dalai Lama always said, which is, if you think you're too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.

And I think it's a brilliant example of how, you know, no matter how big or small we think we are, if we've got a passion and a vision and ambition to achieve something, we can, we can make something happen.

So Boyan Slat created the Ocean Adventure, the Ocean Cleanup.

Sorry.

They're still doing incredible work.

They're still doing their boats, They've had significant amounts of funding, but they are literally removing.

So I think Boyan Start is my inspirational story today.

You can make something happen.

He had a big vision of what he wanted to achieve and made it happen.

So what stops you?

So that's it for the podcast this week.

As ever, thank you so much for listening.

As ever.

I'm so grateful to you.

If you love the show, please like and tell other people about it.

Tell us, you know, please comment on it so we can get other people to see, to get, share some advice and thoughts.

But up until next week.

I'll see you soon.

See you.

Have a great week and stay safe.

Take care.

Remember, eat or be eaten.