How to avoid buyers remorse

What is Buyers Remorse?

You have sold your solution to a customer thinking that it’s a done deal and everything is rosy but then sadly a few hours or days later, the customer returns and says they have changed their mind.

They use a range of excuses (real or fake) such as:

  • They have realised they are going on holiday
  • They have checked and they have other commitments
  • Their dog is unwell and so they have to pay for vets fees
  • They have discussed it with someone else and they don’t think its a good idea
  • They have looked at their budgets and they realise they simply can’t afford it

The annoying thing about this is that it’s a double blow. Not only is it a kick in the teeth to lose a deal you thought you had won but you had probably spent the money or commission already. It just feels doubly worse when it happens!

Most business owners or salespeople blame the client when this happens. I had a lady this week who said ‘They wasted my time’ and ‘Why did she do this’ but be very careful about forming this opinion and not being accountable.

I am sorry to say this but the fault for this lies at your door. Yes, you can blame someone else if you really want to but that’s dodging the issue. Great salespeople don’t apportion blame. They take responsibility and look in the mirror. They ask themselves ‘What didn’t I do well enough and how can i avoid this from happening again’

Here is how.

Why Does it Happen?

There are a few reasons why Buyers Remorse happens but the main ones relate to:

  • Not probing enough with questions when engaging with the prospect
  • Not understanding authority and influence in the decision process well enough
  • Not getting the prospect to totally commit and own to the new path they wanted


When we engage with new prospects, our job is not to sell to them but to ask questions to understand their current situation and what pain (personal or professional) their current situation causes them. When we ask enough of the right questions in the right way, they open up to talk about the impact it has and they are open then to hearing solutions to solve that problem.

To avoid buyer's remorse is to get deep into the issue that the buyer has. When the pain is big enough they won’t want to change their minds

When we also talk with prospects, most business people do not find out who else that person will consult with to make the decision. When you do not find out this, you are leaving your chance of buyer’s remorse open. To the consumer, it could be a partner, parent, or friend. To the CEO it could be their Shareholder, Chairperson, or Consultant. More often than not, the buyer WILL consult someone else in the process and if you haven’t asked about this person and just assumed they will make the decision on their own, then you set yourself up for buyer’s remorse.

To avoid buyer's remorse is to find out who else is involved in the decision process and build a plan to get them on board with the new solution.

One of the main reasons why people don’t buy things is that they don’t believe the change from the current state to the future state (with your solution) will happen. They want it to happen but are not totally committed and convinced it will. This uncertainty or lack of conviction causes them to change their mind and it happens more if they are feeling pressured into making a decision. It’s easier for them to say ‘yes’ on the call or in the meeting but then back out after when doubts creep in.

To avoid buyer's remorse is to get total commitment and ownership from the buyer to their new solution and to get them to REALLY BELIEVE the change can and will happen.

If we solve these 3 issues then we can prevent buyers remorse from happening.

How Can You Avoid It Happening?

So now we know what it’s caused by, how do we solve it? It’s impossible to share everything in one Saturday email but here are 3 things you can do to avoid it.

Dig Further into the pain

Ask questions that allow you to understand the impact of the current situation on the prospect.

How is this current situation affecting you personally Sally?

What would be the impact for you if this carried on for another few months?

Asking these questions and watching the reaction will allow you to see how vital it is for the problem to be resolved. If it’s not a big issue for them, then the chances of them changing their minds could be high.

Find out who else they will consult

Ask questions to find out who else the person will consult to make a decision.

Tell me more about who you will talk with before making your decision John?

Who do you normally consult with before making big decisions Ravi?

How would your partner feel about this solution Charlotte? What would they need to see to be in support of your decision?

Don’t leave your success to chance. Find out who else could be involved in the decision so that their influence doesn’t cause your deal to go down in flames!

Focus on reconfirming the sale when done

Don’t be afraid to get the other person to recommit to the decision they have made, just after they have done it. Use phrases such as

I am excited about working with you Paula but I want this to be 100% right for you. The last thing I want is for you to say yes now but say you are not sure in 2 days’ time. How are you feeling about the decision?

We want them to feel excited and committed and if you sense a nervousness from them or indecision, probe into it there and then. You are better off knowing now and dealing with it than finding out a few days later and then not being able to get hold of them.

Buyer’s Remorse is a real pain and it happens more often than we would like to think. The challenge when it does happen is that it’s then very difficult to get that person back on the phone or to meet as they feel they are too embarrassed to face up to their new decision.

Watch the video that I did on the subject if you want to build further knowledge.

Solve the issues before they happen and its going to allow you to win the business and celebrate the success!

I hope that these insights have helped you gain a better understanding of buyers remorse and how to prevent it from happening.



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